Rewrite-Chapter 11

in an effort to write something everyday, i’ve decided to try a rewrite on a part of a book i’ve already written the rough draft of as if it were a screenplay. this was a part of the story i sorta brushed over, and it’s rather significant. so here is me trying to get the creative juices flowing :0)

[fade in]

Audrey, Rufus, and Mr. Greyson stand in the backyard at Mr. Greyson’s yellow house. They stand on bright green, carefully trimmed grass with a few carefully placed trees in front of them. It is mid afternoon, and the Texas sun is high in the sky.

Audrey is standing in the middle of the two elderly men, wearing a rather plain looking white short sleeve shirt and jeans. Her long wavy brown hair is pulled back in a low ponytail, but the shorter pieces in front fall in her face and blow with the soft wind.

Audrey steps forward one step and stares at one of the trees in front of them. She raises her hands in front of her and, as if miming a strong push, moved them toward the tree. Nothing happens. She sighs and tries again, pushing harder this time. Nothing happens. She turns and looks at Rufus in frustration.

Rufus: You’re doing good. Just try again.

Mr. Greyson (to Rufus): She needs to think about something happier.

Rufus (to Mr. Greyson): She isn’t Peter Pan, just let her try again.

They look back at her, Rufus waves his hands to prompt her to try again.

Audrey turns back to the tree and closes her eyes. We see a flashback to the time Ben flew with her. We see her and him smiling, miles above the ground, Ben’s wings spread out like a huge white eagle, his arms wrapped around her, holding her close. We flash back to Audrey, whose eyes are still closed with a few tears running down her cheeks.

She lifts her arms with eyes still closed, and effortlessly pushed back towards the tree again. A breeze flows from the tree and blows over her as she opens her eyes.

Audrey (in a whisper): I did it. [turns to look at Rufus] (louder) I did it! I felt the breeze, it was warm and soothing, kinda.

Rufus: [smiles] I knew you could.

Mr. Greyson: [with an unimpressed and smug look] okay, that was a simple tree. We need to try something bigger if you’re to be ready for this evening. [under his breath] if you ever going to be ready.

Rufus: [gives an irritated look at Mr. Greyson, and a smile to Audrey] Ok then, girlie, try it on me.

Audrey: [with a skeptical look] (wary) Okay…

She braces herself, and lifts her arms once more. She closes her eyes and pushes towards Rufus. We see a huge gust of wind blow off Rufus and move towards Audrey. It pushes her down.

Audrey: [as she gets off the ground] (slightly pained) Ugh! What was that?

Rufus: (with an amused laugh) That was my goodness, and hopefully what we’ll find in Ben.

Audrey gulps and forces a slight smile.

Rufus: (comforting) You can do this Aud, I know you can.

Mr. Greyson: It’s time.

Rufus and Audrey look at each other, sharing a moment of all they’re gone through to get here.

Rufus:[with a wink] Let’s do this kiddo.

Audrey: [with a smile] Okay. (to Mr. Greyson) let’s go.

They walk out of the backyard and all get into a little yellow car, with Mr. Greyson and Rufus in the front seat and Audrey in the back. The car drives down the street and turns out of the neighborhood.

[fade out]

Advertisements

About lindsayjuarez

This is a little space i've created to post various writing exercises and ideas. View all posts by lindsayjuarez

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: