God Has You W1

I watched church online today, in which Tim Mannin spoke about letting God have control of your life.

The biggest thing in my life right now that i’m trying to control i having a baby. I know that only through God can life come. I know that. But if i’m supposed to give God control of this, how do I stop controlling it? How do I stop taking medication that helps me ovulate? How do I stop thinking and planning when I ovulate. How do I stop counting days?

I feel like I’m in a place where I KNOW i have no control over this. Infact, my control has been stripped of me, rather painfully. My heart has been forced to turn to God for this.

Or take money, the other big thing/problem in my life. I KNOW it’s God’s, and He wants me to honor Him with it, and that money comes from God. But how do you stop budgeting? Or is that even control?

I’m so confused about what God wants me to do. Should I pursue Him with my heart, and allow Him to take control of my heart and emotions, and continue to do the menial tasks I’m assigned? What action do I need to take.

Awhile back, I felt like maybe I should just give up trying to conceive, knowing God has called me to adoption. Maybe I should just take that path. I prayed and prayed about it. God faded that thought in my heart. So what does that mean for me now?

I’ve written a lot about idols. I’m so afraid that I will make this baby an idol in my life. I fear that is why it hasn’t happened yet, because God knows my heart, and will not let anything else come before Him.

I don’t want anything to come before Him. Is my humble heart enough for Him?

About lindsayjuarez

This is a little space i've created to post various writing exercises and ideas. View all posts by lindsayjuarez

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